Artistic challenges of Duty

As much as I can reveal of my messy studio desk...

I was recently blessed with two artistic commissions. I thanked the creator for these opportunities and then tried to figure out what to make for dinner and when I was going to get a chance to clean my studio. 

When offered an opportunity to show my work I usually say yes and try to figure the logistics out later. Sharing my work and getting my voice "out there" has been a constant pull and push of balancing what my duties are to myself, the work and our (my husband & my) family. 
We have to make choices as artists and partners and parents because no matter what Donna Reed, Clare Huxtable, or Wonder Woman says, they are all fictional characters of women and "we" actual flesh and bones people, and individual mother/women/womyn/woman/femme artists must define what our lives, work and families are/look like for ourselves. 

Artist, Nick Cave, and I at his installation, Until, at Mass Moca, 

After I confirmed the opportunities I wanted. I was offered a third, while playing at still being a theater performer. I was missing the adrenaline rush and joy I get from stage work and applause. So I auditioned for a role I knew I couldn't accept and was offered the role.
I wrestled with my ego, my soul, my schedule, and my already impending duties to solve this puzzle and after several days of anxiety and even tears, yes tears, I declined the opportunity.
Some great things happened after I gave myself permission to say no.

• I gave myself permission to say no!
• I gave myself permission to believe in my goal - to be a media artist.
• I gave myself permission to include digital media into my art practice,
• I gave myself permission to continue learning how to make poetry film/videos. 
• I gave myself permission to make a mistake
• I gave myself permission to do something difficult, new, challenging and uncomfortable
• I gave myself permission to learn
• I kept a promise to myself and my family - NO TO JOBS THAT DON'T PAY no matter what "other than money" promises you get.

Standing far left, as Dahlia, Spell #7 Ntozake Shange,1986-ish, dir. Kelly Taafe

I am a professional and I have been practicing my art/craft for a couple decades now. If I get a request to perform, act, write, sing, direct or produce I have to get compensated for my time in some agreed upon manner, specifically money- dollar bill y'all! 

In conclusion, do what you love and that love will bless you, and give yourself permission to be loved and continue to use discipline in your craft and your life.

​​Know your worth and make them pay you for it!

Annette Daniels Taylor

An award winning playwright, poet, messy mom, wife and artist who learning to say no...